Bee's Hive

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Forgive...not always possible

I don't like to post on other people's blogs unless I am in agreement with them. I follow the blog "mended wings" daily. I post because I am in total agreement with this mother, a single Mom like I was. Today after I posted a "hidden" poster came along and really made me mad and so I have to address it here on my own blog.

There are times when it is just impossible to FORGIVE. Like tomorrow, who can totally forgive? All those victims who did nothing but enter a building. This was certainly a time to ask God to do the forgiving for so many.

In my own life I can't forgive my children's father who could go to Egypt and ride a camel, but couldn't go 3 miles and visit with his sons.

I also cannot forgive the fellow who hit my son in the back of the head with a baseball bat and killed him. These are times when I have to trust that God will do the forgiving for the wrongs and for my lack of my ability to forgive.

Then we have the Mended Wings site. A father who walked out on his son and daughter and now that his son is an injured war hero fighting to recover, Daddy shows up and someone who can't even put their name on the blog leaves a message to "Forgive"...what a jerk.

Just who should forgive? The boy who just came out of a coma and can't speak, the sister who is at her brother's side each day and had no DAD or Mom, who raised them alone? Daddy had to get Mom to sign off so he could get a Free ride and motel from the Army...isn't that enough? Frankly, he would never have gotten a ride if it would have been up to me. But this Mom is in the position that she just doesn't know what her son would want, so she signed.

I wonder how much money Daddy is ready to hand over to help with this boy for the rest of his life? Considering he needed a Free ride and Free motel...I'd say Mother is on her own..well not really, all her friends and even strangers are backing her and will continue to do so...I am sure.

What really gets me is the idiot who had the nerve to post to HER blog...totally against how she feels. Since the new "wife" has posted in the past trying to "defend" her hubby it would be a good guess that she is the poster. Why doesn't she go get her own blog...I don't even include hubby in that since I bet she makes him sit to P..,,,and I say that without laughing...when you need wifey to do your talking, looks like she's in control.

This all makes me so angry. It just brings back all the ugly in my own when I stood in the hospital at my son's side knowing they couldn't save him...the missing Daddy said, "Maybe he caused his own demise"....I couldn't let go of my son's hand or I would have punched him in the nose. When you get hit in the back of the head it's pretty clear who caused it. Even the DA said the worse kind of killer, kills from behind.
There is just some people you can't forgive. You just gotta ask God to do the forgiving for you and pray he knows you tried but just can't do it yourself.


Gina said...

I agree with you. There are somethigs that no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to forgive.
Love and hugs Gina xxx

Susan said...

It took me almost 40 years to forgive my ex for his lack of role in his son's life, and some other things - and 20 of that he was dead. Finally, this summer, I managed it, and it must have been the right time, because on that day it was easy. Now I'm working on another block. =)

Moe said...

Bravo!!!! I totally agree with you!I too was upset that someone had posted "forgiveness!" Why should Leslie "forgive?" That spineless twit of an ex husband/father doesn't deserve to be forgiven! The crap that he pulled on those 2 kids is just unforgivable!!! I have been there and watched those two kids cry cause they couldn't understand why their dad didn't want anything to do with them. But he had a new wife and new family and didn't have time for them anymore. 10 years is a long time for them to be angry and he thinks that he's just going to show up and everything will be ok. I don't think so. And the new wife....what a joke she is! Your right..he has to sit to P. She does have her own blog. Talk about cold and heartless. You can tell she hasn't been around in Kevin's life. They know nothing about him. NOTHING! They couldn't tell you his favorite color or even one thing about his personality. Kevin is the most wonderful person in the world and they missed out on that!! Sorry for the ranting Holee, but this hits really close to home for me, being that Leslie is my Best friend and they are like family to me. I've been there through all of Tim's crap that he pulled and I can't even forgive him!
And in your situation....(which I can't even imagine going through) Noone could ever blame you for not forgiving! I don't see how any mother could! Like you said let God do the forgiving.
Again.....Great Post! Loved every word of it!

Holee said...

Moe, I'm a stupid blogger because I forget to go back and read the comments so I just now read yours.

I didn't know about the other blog until tonight. Good thing or I might have done something I shouldn't have.

Sort of says it all, SHE had a blog. Again it's real clear what this guys all about. He can decide to leave his wonderful children but he can't tell his new wifey to stay out of it.

Men like this could never lead the world so it's clear that Kevin got his Mom's personality!

I know if they told Leslie to strap on a uniform and go to Afghan and Kevin would get well she'd do it in a heart beat. I also know the whimp dad would crawl behind the new wifey and she would make his excuses for him.

I will give credit to new wifey for one thing. She knows how to make Tim look like a Jack Ass.