Bee's Hive

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Elephant in the room..

Did you ever watch a room full of people all talking about the same thing, walking around the elephant in the room and pretending they didn't see it?

A few days ago I lost a very young friend to that elephant. I see him. He has been a huge problem and taken a lot of lives much too early.

If you watched the Michael Jackson's Court case today, you will know the Judge saw the elephant too. The Judge was very angry. His speech to the Doctor who killed Michael Jackson was meant for doctors everywhere. Will they hear him? Some will but others will have closed their ears to his words because of greed.

The people in the room who are avoiding the elephant have decided the surgery my friend had on her stomach to take off weight was the cause of her death. It's just much easier to avoid the elephant if you can put the cause on something you can openly talk about.

I'm afraid my friends problems started long before that surgery. I think it started like most teenagers who try out drugs under the pressure of their friends. Having a family who does not deal with it but instead abandons the person when they need strong people who love them to see them through it, helps the elephant get a grip on the person.

The biggest problem when this happens is the old lady doctor who should have retired years before, but because of greed, hangs on writing one prescription after another allowing the elephant to easily take over.

This elephant stomped through my family. He took the life of my nephew before his 21st birthday. These kids soon learn to complain about everything. They search out the "feel good" doctor's who write out prescriptions with one hand and collect a fee with the other. When they out grow the strength of the drugs prescribed, they sell them on the street for stronger drugs. It's something they learn early, sometimes having doctors in many cities and even in different states.

My friend and I had one fall out after another because she couldn't help herself from using me and I couldn't help myself from hating what she was doing to herself. Even after talking against her and about her so people would stop sending her money , I would get long long emails begging me to call her. It would break me down and the cycle would start all over again.

A few weeks ago after yet another fall out, I got one of these emails. They were always so sad. She was always so sorry and so alone. We talked for 3 hours until her phone battery ran low. When I called her back the next day the phone had been shut off. I'll never know if she wanted to ask me for the money to pay for the phone bill. She didn't ask, maybe because we were having such a good chat and she didn't want another fall out.

I had a bad feeling about that phone call. She talked about death, not in a general way, but she told me what she wanted and who she wanted her things to go to. Even through her laughter I could here her voice shake. She wasn't feeling well at all. She was trying to teach me how to make my emails so no one could change them since she had gotten copies of an email I was suppose to have written and they both were different. Funny how she was worried about me and I about her.

She had finally dumped an old boyfriend who couldn't decide if he wanted his mother to take care of him or if he wanted to grow up and be her partner. She was happy, had found a new boyfriend. He seemed to really love her. He was with her when she fell to the floor and did what he could to keep her alive while waiting for the ambulance to arrive after calling 911. At least her last moments were with the person she loved. She had finally found some happiness.

I'd like to say the elephant is dead, but there will be another movie star, family member or dear friend who will meet him. The feel good doctor's will be there waiting for them.

There is no peace in knowing another life is gone much too early. She will suffer no more as Michael Jackson will suffer no more. They will not have to search for the love that was missing from their lives or the support they needed as kids and didn't get. Their struggle is over, but for us, we may find ourselves looking in the eyes of another victum of the elephant in the room.

1 comment:

tisme said...

Truer words were never spoken!