BE BACK IN 2009!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
DRAWING UP A PLAN OF ACTION!
I am not near ready to give up the Holiday's this year, but I do need to get a plan ready for the New Year.
First, if you want to know what makes life worth while, don't miss a Christmas Miracle on my friends blog: http://fabricfun-everythingquilts.blogspot.com/
I only have a few weeks left to finish the quilt in a bag. I've decided not to finish the story until the quilt is in the hands of it's ower..but, I will give one more peek. This quilt has taken off in several different paths along the way. It's hard to get an entire story into 20 x 20 inches!
To finish up with 2008, I have 6 Thank you gifts that I am working on, 5 wall hangings & one special gift of a very sweet lady. When I get enough done on these I'll post a peek of them.
I can't forget my blog 100 post give-away in February and I am also working on 3 gifts for the Pay it forward. Since no one signed up for it, I decided to make 3 items and post them...maybe that will entice 3 of you??
There is also a special little girl who will be needing a few surprises this spring/summer. I pulled a Barbie from my collection for this project. This is not a new Barbie with botox lips and enough makeup to put her in line as a bar fly. Nope, this Barbie is from a gentle time. She has a sweet smile & dimples in her cheeks. She is from the romantic movie star series.. Scarlett O'Hara, dressed in her famous green gown and straw bonnet.
Last year I made my granddaughter a shoe box full of outfits for a special Barbie and that's the road this one will take. She will get a camping outfit along with a sleeping bag and back pack, a 50's dress and apron, poodle skirt, and several other outfits to turn her into play doll. As I make each outfit I'll give you all a look at them.
First, if you want to know what makes life worth while, don't miss a Christmas Miracle on my friends blog: http://fabricfun-everythingquilts.blogspot.com/
I only have a few weeks left to finish the quilt in a bag. I've decided not to finish the story until the quilt is in the hands of it's ower..but, I will give one more peek. This quilt has taken off in several different paths along the way. It's hard to get an entire story into 20 x 20 inches!
To finish up with 2008, I have 6 Thank you gifts that I am working on, 5 wall hangings & one special gift of a very sweet lady. When I get enough done on these I'll post a peek of them.I can't forget my blog 100 post give-away in February and I am also working on 3 gifts for the Pay it forward. Since no one signed up for it, I decided to make 3 items and post them...maybe that will entice 3 of you??
There is also a special little girl who will be needing a few surprises this spring/summer. I pulled a Barbie from my collection for this project. This is not a new Barbie with botox lips and enough makeup to put her in line as a bar fly. Nope, this Barbie is from a gentle time. She has a sweet smile & dimples in her cheeks. She is from the romantic movie star series.. Scarlett O'Hara, dressed in her famous green gown and straw bonnet.
Last year I made my granddaughter a shoe box full of outfits for a special Barbie and that's the road this one will take. She will get a camping outfit along with a sleeping bag and back pack, a 50's dress and apron, poodle skirt, and several other outfits to turn her into play doll. As I make each outfit I'll give you all a look at them.
Friday, December 19, 2008
2009 RESOLUTION * BOOK COVERS, by MODA
It's a stormy, snowy day in N.W. Pennsylvania. I was glad to see the mailman made it to the front door without falling on the ice. I was even happier when I saw a package from MODA in his hand. My win from the Frosty the snowman rings in MODA tune!
Red is my favorite color. My red stash has it's own closet! Angela couldn't have sent anything more perfect in color! This wonderful book cover sent idea's racing through my head.
I've already promised my friends on the HGTV message board to make something for next Christmas and post it on the thread that will be started for that purpose, every month. Coming up with new idea's for swaps is always hard but here I had an idea right in my hand! The possibilities for change and the purpose for use ran wild in my head!
Again, Thank you Angela for this nice gift! http://modahomemom.blogspot.com/
Red is my favorite color. My red stash has it's own closet! Angela couldn't have sent anything more perfect in color! This wonderful book cover sent idea's racing through my head.
I've already promised my friends on the HGTV message board to make something for next Christmas and post it on the thread that will be started for that purpose, every month. Coming up with new idea's for swaps is always hard but here I had an idea right in my hand! The possibilities for change and the purpose for use ran wild in my head!
Again, Thank you Angela for this nice gift! http://modahomemom.blogspot.com/
Thursday, December 18, 2008
SUGAR & DOG BONES
Sugar cookies are not your best tasting cookie. But, for me, the memories that go with them are worth the effort. My Dad made the holiday, put on the apron and baked the sugar cookies. It was always a big production, but without the sugar cookie, he made it seem like the holiday couldn't go forward. He mixed up many colors of icing, sprinkles and the good old decorater tube was put into full use!
I still have all the metal cutters and the tube also. I have used it every year, along with "his" apron.
In 2002 I packed up all my sugar cookie stuff and headed to Idaho to bake with my grands and have a traditional holiday. It never dawned on me that the decorating tube from 1950 would get me pulled out of line at the airport after they scanned my carry-on! That also caused my suitcases to be pulled for a better examination. They didn't arrive in Idaho for 3 days, leaving me without clothes and Christmas gifts on Christmas morning.
Even though it's the first year their aren't any grands to help and only the 2 of us, I kept with tradition and baked just a few sugar cookies.
Of course we can't foget Man's best Friend on Christmas, so I baked up a batch of Beef basted bones and bagels.
I still have all the metal cutters and the tube also. I have used it every year, along with "his" apron.
In 2002 I packed up all my sugar cookie stuff and headed to Idaho to bake with my grands and have a traditional holiday. It never dawned on me that the decorating tube from 1950 would get me pulled out of line at the airport after they scanned my carry-on! That also caused my suitcases to be pulled for a better examination. They didn't arrive in Idaho for 3 days, leaving me without clothes and Christmas gifts on Christmas morning.
Even though it's the first year their aren't any grands to help and only the 2 of us, I kept with tradition and baked just a few sugar cookies.
Of course we can't foget Man's best Friend on Christmas, so I baked up a batch of Beef basted bones and bagels.
If you have ever priced a dog bone cookie cutter you'll know they are why out of line in price. I took a regular cookie cutter shaped like a star and bent it into a bone shape..works perfect!
Dog Bones & Bagels
Dog Bones & Bagels
******
2 1/2 cups Whole Wheat Flour
1/2 cup beef broth
2 tsp. honey
6 tbl. olive oil
Bake 325 for 30 minutes...then glaze with a brush
****
Glaze
***
1 egg
2 tlb. beef broth, beaten together
Return to oven and bake another 30 minutes...remove to cooling racks
***
Just a note: This dough will feel like rubber. Roll it out for the size and thickness you want your dog to have. It will be the same size after it is baked. For the bagel I just use a glass to get the shape and a bottle cap to make the hole in the center. Dogs don't really care what shape it is. You can just roll it out and cut it into pieces. If the dough doesn't stick together, add a little of the beef broth.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Snowballs and Munchies
Tomorrow I will end the baking for 2008 with cut out sugar cookies. Today I made Walnut Snowballs & Chocolate Peanut Butter Munchies. Both batters are very rich for melt in your mouth cookies.
Snowballs
******
1 cup butter
1/2 cup 10x sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
1/4 tsp. salt
1 3/4 cup flour sifted
1 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 cup 10x sugar for coating
( I didn't forget, there are no eggs in this recipe)
Cream it all together and cool for 30 minutes. With floured hands roll small pieces into balls. Bake on ungreased cookie sheet at 300 for 15 to 20 minutes..until the edges are light tan. While still hot, rub the top of the cookie in the 1/2 cup 10x sugar to coat the top. Cool on a wire rack.
My Munchies flattened a little too much but they still taste wonderful. I know I didn't measure the flour and level it in the cup, so that's what happens when you rush things.
Munchies
******
1 1/2 cups flour sifted
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp. sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup peanut butter
1 egg
1 tbsp. milk
1 tsp. vanilla
*****
Cream Center
********
1/2 cup peanut butter
3/4 cup 10x sugar
**
Mix all ingredients together. In a separate bowl mix the cream center with the back of a spoon, kneed it until it forms a ball.
With floured hands, roll chocolate dough into 32- 1 1/2 inch balls. Roll cream into 32 small balls. With the bottom of a glass dipped into 10x sugar, flatten the chocolate dough. Add a cream ball and wrap the chocolate around it and make it into a ball again. Place them 2 inches apart on a cookie sheet. Again, lightly flatten the balls with the bottom of the glass dipped into 10x sugar. Bake at 350 for about 8 minutes. Let them rest for a minute before transferring them to wire racks.
I've cut one open so you can see the cream center.
I always store them with wax paper inbetween layers so they don't stick to each other.
Snowballs
******
1 cup butter
1/2 cup 10x sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
1/4 tsp. salt
1 3/4 cup flour sifted
1 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 cup 10x sugar for coating
( I didn't forget, there are no eggs in this recipe)
Cream it all together and cool for 30 minutes. With floured hands roll small pieces into balls. Bake on ungreased cookie sheet at 300 for 15 to 20 minutes..until the edges are light tan. While still hot, rub the top of the cookie in the 1/2 cup 10x sugar to coat the top. Cool on a wire rack.
My Munchies flattened a little too much but they still taste wonderful. I know I didn't measure the flour and level it in the cup, so that's what happens when you rush things.
Munchies
******
1 1/2 cups flour sifted
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp. sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup peanut butter
1 egg
1 tbsp. milk
1 tsp. vanilla
*****
Cream Center
********
1/2 cup peanut butter
3/4 cup 10x sugar
**
Mix all ingredients together. In a separate bowl mix the cream center with the back of a spoon, kneed it until it forms a ball.
With floured hands, roll chocolate dough into 32- 1 1/2 inch balls. Roll cream into 32 small balls. With the bottom of a glass dipped into 10x sugar, flatten the chocolate dough. Add a cream ball and wrap the chocolate around it and make it into a ball again. Place them 2 inches apart on a cookie sheet. Again, lightly flatten the balls with the bottom of the glass dipped into 10x sugar. Bake at 350 for about 8 minutes. Let them rest for a minute before transferring them to wire racks.
I've cut one open so you can see the cream center.
I always store them with wax paper inbetween layers so they don't stick to each other.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
BLUE IS NOT PURPLE
I have a fabric stash that I call "unknown." These purchases were made on the internet for projects but when the fabric arrived, it was never the color I thought I had purchased. I have about 15 yards of different PURPLES that I ordered as BLUE, yards of ORANGE I thought was PINK and so on.
When you get older you don't complain about these mistakes because you figure it's your vision.I keep telling myself to get an examination & new, not scratched glasses but that hasn't happened yet.
Last night I heard my son making some noise upstairs but I was interested in watching a Christmas show. At bedtime he followed me into my room. I saw a big box in the corner and thought he was beginning to store his ebay stuff in my room now. I never noticed what it was sitting on top of, duh, my old computer monitor. As I turned to ask him what this box was doing in my room, he was grinning from ear to ear. And then I saw the surprise! He had hooked up my Christmas gift! A 20 inch flat screen Acer!
After surfing for a while I realized BLUE was not PURPLE! I can't believe the difference! So, it was not my aging eyes but the aging screen that had added so many unwanted yards of ugly colored fabric to the unknown stash! THANK YOU DAVE! I LOVE IT!
Now, onto today's cookie baking. Most of the recipes I use come from my 8th grade cooking book that looks like it's been through a war! I do have to laugh at how they were set on making us into "perfect housewives" back in 1957. I can just see the kids of today scratching their head at the directions in this book! Most of the recipes call for "fat or lard", a no no in today's world. There is also a full page on the benefits of saving bacon drippings to be used at a later time!
But, the cookies just come out so great from this old book. Today I made chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies. I also took the advise in the book to not waste the time in the kitchen waiting for each batch to cook...so I cooked up some apple sauce while I waited!
When you get older you don't complain about these mistakes because you figure it's your vision.I keep telling myself to get an examination & new, not scratched glasses but that hasn't happened yet.
Last night I heard my son making some noise upstairs but I was interested in watching a Christmas show. At bedtime he followed me into my room. I saw a big box in the corner and thought he was beginning to store his ebay stuff in my room now. I never noticed what it was sitting on top of, duh, my old computer monitor. As I turned to ask him what this box was doing in my room, he was grinning from ear to ear. And then I saw the surprise! He had hooked up my Christmas gift! A 20 inch flat screen Acer!
After surfing for a while I realized BLUE was not PURPLE! I can't believe the difference! So, it was not my aging eyes but the aging screen that had added so many unwanted yards of ugly colored fabric to the unknown stash! THANK YOU DAVE! I LOVE IT!
Now, onto today's cookie baking. Most of the recipes I use come from my 8th grade cooking book that looks like it's been through a war! I do have to laugh at how they were set on making us into "perfect housewives" back in 1957. I can just see the kids of today scratching their head at the directions in this book! Most of the recipes call for "fat or lard", a no no in today's world. There is also a full page on the benefits of saving bacon drippings to be used at a later time!
But, the cookies just come out so great from this old book. Today I made chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies. I also took the advise in the book to not waste the time in the kitchen waiting for each batch to cook...so I cooked up some apple sauce while I waited!
Monday, December 15, 2008
PEANUT CANUCHIES
This is Candy and Cookie making week. Today I made 5 pounds of candy, Peanut Canuchies. They are a butter cream rolled in ground spanish peanuts. This is a very old recipe that is also used for Easter candy with fruit & nuts added to the batter.
For years the batter was hand mixed with a wooden spoon, turned out on a cold platter and folded for at least 100 times. The chocolate was heated in a double boiler with parafin added and many times it burnt.
A few years ago when my hands became crippled with RA, I decided to see if I could make the recipe modern. The only thing I kept was the old paper recipe and the vintage apron.
You will need 2 boxes of 10x sugar, 1/2 pound butter, scant 1/4 cup of milk, 2 caps vanilla plus ground roasted spanish peanuts & coating chocolate. I purchased a small crock pot for melting the chocolate and it never burns!
With the help of 2 forks, spoon chocolate over them and set them back on the wax paper. When set, use a knife to smear them with more melted chocolate and roll them in the ground spanish peanuts. This will make 5 pounds of candy. Any leftover chocolate, add some sugar and mold them in a plastic mold. With this finished I can start cookies tomorrow!
For years the batter was hand mixed with a wooden spoon, turned out on a cold platter and folded for at least 100 times. The chocolate was heated in a double boiler with parafin added and many times it burnt.
A few years ago when my hands became crippled with RA, I decided to see if I could make the recipe modern. The only thing I kept was the old paper recipe and the vintage apron.
You will need 2 boxes of 10x sugar, 1/2 pound butter, scant 1/4 cup of milk, 2 caps vanilla plus ground roasted spanish peanuts & coating chocolate. I purchased a small crock pot for melting the chocolate and it never burns!
Cream the butter and add all other ingredients. Mix at high speed for some time until it looks like a fluffy cloud. Powder your hands with 10x sugar and roll them into balls, placing them on wax paper and putting them in the refrig for 5 minutes to firm them up.
With the help of 2 forks, spoon chocolate over them and set them back on the wax paper. When set, use a knife to smear them with more melted chocolate and roll them in the ground spanish peanuts. This will make 5 pounds of candy. Any leftover chocolate, add some sugar and mold them in a plastic mold. With this finished I can start cookies tomorrow!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
NICE PEOPLE, NICE FAMILIES
Some people are just nice. You know it the second you speak to them for the first time. Nice people come from nice families, well, not all the time, but most of the time.
I met Donna on the HGTV message board and immediately knew she was nice, not the regular nice, the kind of nice that lasts forever. She has posted on her blog, http://fabricfun-everythingquilts.blogspot.com/ some beautiful things her sister made. The Photo at the top of her site is of an oil painting her sister did, a wonderful swing on a porch. It just makes you want to sit down and stay awhile.
I met Donna on the HGTV message board and immediately knew she was nice, not the regular nice, the kind of nice that lasts forever. She has posted on her blog, http://fabricfun-everythingquilts.blogspot.com/ some beautiful things her sister made. The Photo at the top of her site is of an oil painting her sister did, a wonderful swing on a porch. It just makes you want to sit down and stay awhile.
I don't know her sister Becky, but I knew she had to be nice just by the way these sister's interacted with each other. Today I met Becky. Not in person, but in a beautiful handmade Christmas card she sent to me with one of her tiny tatted hearts. I've never seen such exact work!
I've been saving items to made a shadow box. Old shoe hooks, a beautiful hankie, a pair of pearls, ladies gloves and a christening gown. Becky's tatted heart will be included since I could never find a project suitable for such a beautiful piece. Thank you Donna & Becky for being sweet sister's that I have been gifted to know.
Before the holiday is over I wanted to mention the link at the top of my favorite blogs list, A Cup of Christmas Tea. This is a story told by Tom Hegg. You can hear the story by going to my playlist and clicking on the 2 side by side bars on top left to turn off my music.
What seems like a long time ago, I bought this book and the tree ornament. I just loved the story.
I've noticed over the years that I am no longer the reader but have become the lame elder keeping Holiday traditions. Maybe this should make me feel sad but it doesn't. I feel like the keeper of time, joys of the past, all those memories passed on to my grandchildren and maybe their children.
I also want to mention the link to Pixie's Train Ride at the top of my favorite blog list. This is just a wonderful story about passing through life done with photo's of children. It also benefits children with Autism, written by a grandmother whose granddaughter has Autism, it is a beautiful story for all of us to consider.
***
Cleaning up the last thing for the day is my climb to the 100th post. I am so far behind right now and I'm sure many of you are in the same boat. You might think this holiday was a surprise I didn't know about! Next year I'll plan...are you laughing now!
I've decided to wait until February to have a give-away, when we are all sick of winter and need a spring lift! I hope you'll all watch for my February give-away.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
FROSTY THE SNOWMAN...GETS MODA!
I WON, I WON! Well, not first place, but a win is a win! My Moda song about Frosty has gotten me a Moda gift! Angela made everyone that wanted to join her Give-Away write a song about Moda to the tune of a holiday song.
http://modahomemom.blogspot.com/
I have to say I went back to her blog many, many times to read all the posts. Each and every song had me laughing until I cried! Sew, Mama, Sews give-way was great, but Angela's idea made the fun for me!
http://sewmamasew.com/blog2/
Thank you so Much Angela! Have a wonderful Christmas!
http://modahomemom.blogspot.com/
I have to say I went back to her blog many, many times to read all the posts. Each and every song had me laughing until I cried! Sew, Mama, Sews give-way was great, but Angela's idea made the fun for me!
http://sewmamasew.com/blog2/
Thank you so Much Angela! Have a wonderful Christmas!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
DECEMBER 8TH...Author unknown
............................Diary of the Mad Snow Shoveler
December 8th - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9th - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12th - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry; we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14th - Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back into shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15th - 20 inches in the forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska after all.
December 16th - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my a** on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17th - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. God I hate it when she's right. More shoveling. Took all day. Damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighborhood kid to shovel, but they said they're to busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22nd - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt 'till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to p**. By the time I got undressed, p**ed, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.
December 23rd - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she...nuts? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think she's damn well lying.
December 24th - 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the idiot who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his toes. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25th - Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the %&*@#*& slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.
December 26th - Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here? It was ALL HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27th - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28th - Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE WIFE is driving me crazy!!!!!
December 29th - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard of. What a duffas Bob is. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30th - The roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her Mother. Good riddance. 9" predicted.
December 31st - Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8th - I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?????
December 8th - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9th - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12th - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry; we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14th - Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back into shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15th - 20 inches in the forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska after all.
December 16th - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my a** on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17th - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. God I hate it when she's right. More shoveling. Took all day. Damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighborhood kid to shovel, but they said they're to busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22nd - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt 'till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to p**. By the time I got undressed, p**ed, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.
December 23rd - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she...nuts? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think she's damn well lying.
December 24th - 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the idiot who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his toes. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25th - Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the %&*@#*& slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.
December 26th - Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here? It was ALL HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27th - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28th - Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE WIFE is driving me crazy!!!!!
December 29th - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard of. What a duffas Bob is. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30th - The roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her Mother. Good riddance. 9" predicted.
December 31st - Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8th - I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?????
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