Waiting for my final journey

Back in June when we knew my body wouldn't allow Chemo, I started to prepare for my last trip. Believe me, there is much to do when you are told 6 months or so. I found homes for items I knew others would enjoy...still have lots of those piles but I'm working on it. Cleaning up my sewing mess so my son isn't left with it and the unfinished projects that I am enjoying doing.

As for packing, I'm doing much better then I thought I would. I think I've cleaned up asking for forgiveness which was the first thing on my list. My bucket list was short since I've done just about everything I wanted to in life. I've tried to have some fun the past few months, even bought Christmas gifts.

The oncologist tells me last week that I might be getting an extension on life since I should  be a lot sicker at this point and it seems this might be a slower growing cancer. Sounds good to me since I'm having trouble with this flower garden quilt.

I guess we don't give the end much thought when we are living but there is much to do when you are given the chance. Lots of people you want to see, hugs you want to give, holding a baby one more time, etc. I went from room to room replacing the things that wear out in the house so I wouldn't be leaving my son with used junk. Everything from pillows to sweeper to can opener. One of the last big items was the SUV. A single man whose heart longs for that monster truck with all the chrome does not need an SUV when he won't be dragging around a wheel chair and crippled up old person. This week the new Chevy truck will find a home in our carport.

My days are getting slower. I have my sleeping hours reversed...not good...you can't sleep all day and all night. I'm trying to change that this week. I still have lots of interesting things to do. Working on the quilts and the Christmas train platform.

Most of all I don't want anyone to be sad over my leaving. I'm going home so I must be needed. I'm counting on seeing my son Mark, friends who have already gone before me, my parents. For those I'm leaving behind we have our memories of good times and even bad times we shared. That's pretty important stuff, having shared our lives. I hope I've prepared everyone so you find a smile when you think of me and save the tears for the dented fender or bad hair cut!

I haven't posted as often because of these 2 naughty quilts that are giving me big time trouble, not because I'm too sick to post. Tomorrow I'll put on some Christmas music and try to have a different attitude. I might figure out what I did to make the corners curl up. Lets hope I soon have a photo to show you!